... About Calling the Police About Domestic Disturbances

My parents called me yesterday with a question. Apparently, our neighbors had a heated argument the night before during which items were thrown and doors were slammed. They considered calling the police but didn’t. I just finished SAPA (Sexual Assault Peer Alliance) training last week and my parents wanted my input on whether or not they did the right thing. I was very happy that they called me to ask for my opinion and that they had not immediately called the police when they heard the domestic disturbance.

They said that the reason they decided not to call the police was that it was the first time they had heard them fight and it was very late at night. I asked them if it sounded like anyone was in imminent danger and they said it did not. I asked what ethnicity the couple was. I explained why that might make a difference in how the case is handled and how dangerous the police believe the situation to be.

My parents asked me what I would have done, given my training. I explained that I would avoid calling the police and instead would contact a local non-profit that specializes in handling instances of domestic and gender-based violence. I would only call the police if I believed someone was in danger. I explained that the police are generalists and because they have so many different responsibilities, it is difficult to be well versed in handling every type of situation. Specialists, such as those working with the non-profit, would be more knowledgable and be better able to deescalate the situation and just as importantly, to put into place an appropriate longer-term plan to prevent the situation from happening in the future.

I mentioned that the argument of the police doing too much and specialists being better equipped to handle most situations was part of the reasoning behind the movement to defund the police. We talked more about defunding the police and then about abolitionist thought. I am not super well versed in abolitionist thought, but I did my best to try to explain the basics. As expected, my parents were very receptive to the idea of reducing police funding and responsibilities and increasing funding to community organizations and preventative solutions to crime, but they were not totally on board with prison abolition. If there are no prisons, what do you do with the murderers and genuinely terrible people? I didn’t have an answer for them. I have no idea. If you have thoughts, I’d love to hear what you think! Let’s continue this conversation in the comment section!